I didn't think it would come to this...I really didn't. The morning started out so promising...so...veggie-less. Yet here I am. Picking minuscule orange shrapnel out of my veggie infested locks. These are situations by which my job is made up of: Nathanisms.
Nathan is a sixteen year old boy who is ranged on the autism scale as 'not otherwise specified.' So while sometimes he's normal-ish, sometimes he's just...Nathan-ish. He has his fits of rage, tear induced dramatics, and moments of being a 'stand up chameleon'(according to him). And I! Katherine! Get the joy and happiness of driving him around to school and therapy. Most days I am purely blessed, but today I am covered in...well you know.
It was a normal day and we were sitting in the parking lot waiting for the clock to strike 8:55(which is the EXACT time we must leave the truck to go to school. Otherwise we have issues). Nathan is munching on a bag of baby carrots and I'm making jokes to him about resembling a rabbit. Following up my comment he begins to chomp down on those mini veggies with all the vigor of a small rodent. Then it happens: I turn away. As I glance at the time, the side of my head is bombarded with a wave of spit and carrot.
The situation plays out as follows:
Me: NATHAN! (Did he actually just SPIT his carrots at me?!? Oh no he didn't!!)
Nathan*looking a bit overwhelmed*: I had to sneeze.
Me: Nathan! That is why we COVER our mouths when we sneeze.
Nathan: Can I have a tissue?
Me: Yes and then you are helping me clean out every carrot you spit out!
Nathan: Oh look at the time! It's time for school!
Me: I don't think so mister. You clean up this carrot pulp!
Nathan: Wipes up one piece. *starts walking away then gets angry when I make him return to throw away his napkin trash*
After seeing him to class I make my way to the ladies room. And what do I see? The most masticated carrot I have ever encountered starting a colony on the side of my head. Who seriously chews their carrots into the consistency of baby food? Nathan does! And the proof is drying orange over the interior of my truck. Don't think it was a big enough sneeze? Ask the seats, steering wheel, radio, cup holders, the windows, gear shift, carpet, rear view mirror and wind shield. Windshield! He sits in the BACK! There was some serious power in that sneeze. Had it been carrot-less I might've been impressed.
The damage has been erased, and my hair fairly groomed and all is well...for now. So as I leave you, here are some words from Nathan himself(there's no end to these bad boys)
"I'm watching you with cracked eagle eyes!"
"Do I look like a mistress?"
"We have a droid and a Jar Jar Binks in the handle."
ever amused,
Katherine
2 comments:
Wow! That cracks me up. Glad you got all the carrots cleaned up.
haha I gotta meet this kid! Glad it was erasable :)
-Kenze
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