We all have “those days” in which we can
never forget. July 23rd marks
the day for me-that one day that will forever be so clear, yet so hazy in my
mind. Three years ago, my life changed
drastically and I never thought I would be able to function normally again, not
without my mom.
September of my senior year, the ‘fun’
year, my mom was diagnosed with stage four colon cancer. She was given 4-6 weeks to live. As you can imagine, my world came crashing
down when I heard this devastating news, but immediately I thought “she’s going
to be ok because I have the faith the size of a mustard seed.” Do you know how small a mustard seed is? Super
small!! The first thing mom told me was,
“You have to be my prayer warrior!” Not
for one second did I question why this was happening to our family, rather I
embraced it- God is going to heal her!
I was a cheerleader, so in the fall mom
took chemo on Mondays so she could be at my games on Friday nights. In the spring, I played golf so she took
chemo on Fridays so she could be there to cheer me on at my tournaments on
Tuesdays. I need to take a moment and
say Wow! What a woman, what a mom! She
saw me graduate May 29, 2009-yes, 8 months past the time she was given. She saw my nephew born on May 20! What a blessing it was to make all the
memories with her.
She was a fighter-she fought for dad,
me, my brother, and her grandbabies-talk about selfless! I never saw her cry or get down about her
situation. Instead, every Sunday at
church when the preacher asked for testimonies she stood up EVERY Sunday and
praised God for another day, for the cancer, for her life He has given
her. What a testimony in itself-how
often do I complain about trite things, I’m not fighting for my life every day!
I would often get upset about the situation
and cry to mom, like she wasn’t the one dealing with it ha! I distinctly remember riding in the car with
her and crying so hard and saying it wasn’t fair that my mom had cancer, out of
all the people in the world, why did it have to be my mom? And she stopped the
car and said, “Where’s my prayer warrior?
You’re being selfish.” She began
to pray, thanking God that it was her who had the cancer, not anyone else in
the family. She would take it again for
everyone. Then she looked at me and
said, “Ruthie, God’s going to heal me-whether He chooses to heal me on earth,
temporarily or ultimately in Heaven. No matter
what He chooses, we WILL praise Him for it because I will be healed!” Yeah! That’s
my mom!!
That day came, her healing-July 23, 2009. God chose to heal her ultimately and I praise
Him to this day for her healing. There’s
still a place in my heart that misses her so much that it hurts daily. Every mile stone that comes, I get upset that
mom isn’t here to celebrate with us, but I know God allows her to celebrate in
Heaven. After three years, not one day passes that I don’t miss her, I miss her more today than I did three years ago, but good news: I can function normally (depending on your definition of normal ha) without my momma-it’s not easy, but I can. After three years, I strive to be more like the woman my mother was and is. After three years, my life that’s drastically changed has become my “new” kind of normal.
In the words of Robert Frost:
“I can sum up everything I’ve learned
about life in three words: It goes on.”
I leave you with this verse from my
favorite book,
John 16:33 I have told you these things
so that in me you may have peace, in this world you will have trouble, but take
heart! I have overcome the world! I look
forward to the day I get to spend eternity with my savior and my mom!
Forever thankful for a healing, loving,
saving God!
Kenze B
0 comments:
Post a Comment