Celebrate With Me!

A year ago, on this very day I posted a blog about my dear friend who we lost to cancer.  I almost considered not writing this blog because it's essentially the same.  However, this time I chose to focus on the reason to celebrate for and with him on this day!

Five years ago I watched one of my dearest friends lose the fight to cancer and life as I knew it became oh so different-a true pain of reality struck me for the first time.  I was seventeen years old and he was sixteen-SIXTEEN!

            In the moment of loosing him, the thought of loosing him was almost too difficult to bear.  At sixteen, you should be just beginning your life, getting your drivers license, going on dates-not spending weeks at St. Jude’s hospital for treatments. 

            The best thing about Tyler Bartlett was his sweet spirit, bright smile and his gorgeous blue eyes.  While Tyler was literally fighting for his life, he lifted the spirits of so many people in his room.  All I remember thinking is, “how in the world is he doing this?  How can he be so happy?”

            In the moment of seeing him so sick, I realized his life had drastically changed when he was diagnosed with this awful disease, but he never let it affect his life.  In fact, it encouraged him to live louder, to be a witness and servant for Christ.

            Then suddenly as this sick reality of the world hit me so hard, I realized that life as he knew was about to be oh so different-and not in a bad way.

            A year after Tyler died, my mother passed away from cancer and while she was sick she would remind me constantly, “I will be healed, either here on earth or ultimately in heaven.”  Those words still ring in my ear as a promise of complete healing for my mother and Tyler.

            And though it took five years to fully realize that Tyler did NOT lose his fight to cancer-oh no! He won, he has the ultimate victory over that sick, awful, terrible disease. 

At sixteen, I thought he should’ve just begun his life and then once again it struck me, he did just begin his life-in heaven! How measly this life seems in the grand scheme of things.

Tyler’s happiness while he was so sick was truly from his heart because he knew who held his future, and however God chose to heal him; it was at peace with his soul. 

What an example Tyler left for me-at sixteen, he had so much more knowledge and wisdom than I do at twenty-two, I believe.  His life was truly a legacy and a lesson learned for me. 

So as the rest of the world goes on with their day of May 31, my heart will not ache at the loss of Tyler from this world, rather it will ache with sorrow for his family whom I love with all my heart and is missing him daily! But today, on this “normal” day for everyone else I WILL REJOICE and celebrate that he is perfect today in the arms of Christ.

Celebrate with me and pray for his sweet family!

Love you sweet, Ty Ty!

Known Through Memories

Tomorrow is a big day for everyone, because...well...everyone has at one point had a mother and it is indeed Mother's Day. The day when flowers are abundant and squished loving hugs are taken by mom's who use their day to get as much affection as they can (because the rest of the year us kids are simply too much trouble).

As I contemplated writing a blog about how great my mom was and how much I can count on her (which I very much do), I decided to write about a woman I consider my mom just as much as all my other friend's moms: Sue Brooks.

Let me tell you about Sue Brooks. She is loving, feisty, brave, intelligent, beautiful and wonderful. These things I know about her not because we have met, but because she lives in stories and joy filled memories that Kenze tells us as we go about our lives living in the same apartment together.

I remember the first time Kaitlin and I went to Kenze's house, and we cried together as we read letters and articles written about this great woman. She was an educator. She loved her students, especially Kenze (who received her only "b" from her mother's class). She was not without humor, because I can only imagine seeing her grab Kenze's arm and race toward drunken tailgaters in order to form a fake friendship for free food (you'll have to ask Kenze about that one). When Joseph was being scouted by football coaches, Nick Saban himself showed up at Mrs. Brooks classroom. When asked to wait outside, Saban said, "do you know who I am?" Not to be questioned, she said "do you know who I am?" Haha! How can you not love this woman?

What breaks my heart is that I did not get to meet her before she passed away, but it has been my utmost joy to know her daughter. I know Kenze would not have been the same without the way she was raised, loved, and (sometimes) punished. Kenze Ruth Brooks is an example and living representation of who I believe Sue Brooks was, and still is in heaven.

One of the most commonly uttered phrases in our apartment is "I cannot WAIT to meet your mom in heaven." And that is truly how we feel. We all love her just as we love our own moms. She is a part of our family and will always be. Today Kenze graduated from SFASU, and without a doubt I know Sue was up there shouting and pointing and bragging to the Lord about how beautiful and wonderful and intelligent her daughter is and will continue to be.

Kenze, I love you so much and so does she.

Sue, still can't wait to meet you :)

yours truly,

Katherine

All I Want for My Birthday..

            On my 18^th birthday, I was persistent for only one present; mom and dad heard it daily, “all I want for my birthday is a Mac computer-Mom! I don’t just want it, I need it!” She’d laugh and say, “Oh, Ruth!” I knew, in the back of my head, I would get one.

            Saturday, the morning of my birthday, mom told me to get ready.  She was so sick from chemo and looked completely worn, but was still going to make it a memorable birthday.  I wanted to be excited because it was my birthday, but to this day I can still recall the heavy-hearted feeling that hovered over my day.

            Just like I knew I was getting a Mac; I knew, in the back of my mind, that this could be my last birthday this could be my last birthday with her.  The mixture of excitement of my 18^th and the dread of the unknown future was almost overwhelming.

            As we drove into a shopping center, I saw the Apple store- excitement was back! But as we walked up the sidewalk, mom stopped at a door before the Apple store.  As we walked into the James Avery jewelry store, with a quiver in her voice, mom asked the sales woman, “Can we look at the Remembrance rings, please?” I am embarrassed to say in that moment, I was so blinded by disappointment that I didn’t notice the quaver in her voice.  Now, years later, I look back at the vivid memory and can hear the tremble.    

             It is a dainty, simple, silver ring with my birthstone in the middle. How appropriate! My last present from mother is a ring that I can remember her by for the rest of my life!

            Today, on my 22^nd, I am spending my fourth birthday without mother.  And like a four year old, I long for and desire to have a birthday party with mom.  Moms are the only other people, beside you, who are just as enthusiastic about the presents you get, she is the one who sings the loudest (and off-key), and she is always the one to cheer the proudest when you blow out all the candles on your cake.

            Unlike my 18^th birthday, I do not want a materialistic present like a computer.  All I want for my 22^nd this year is a birthday with my mom.  As I type this blog with my Mac computer, I chuckle at the thought of “absolutely needing it.”  Because like the computer that I absolutely needed, I want one more birthday with mom and “I don’t just want it, I need it!” and so much more.

             

            

Life is too short and so precious, my friends. 

               

 Kenze